5 mistakes to avoid at the beginning of a new relationship
avoid at beginning of new relationship
A new relationship is an exciting time. You might probably be letting go of the past and moving forward. Sometimes, even the most promising new relationship can go sour surprisingly quickly, leaving you wondering what just happened.
New relationships are much more fragile than established ones because, in an established relationship, you know each other well. You understand the other’s flaws and love them anyway. So, it is much easier to sit down and have a tough conversation.
On the other hand, in a new relationship, everything is a great unknown. Your partner does not know you well enough to put their trust in you, and that means that if you accidentally ring their alarm bells, you won’t see them again. As highlighted by a marriage and relationship expert, Sylvia Smith, here are some mistakes to avoid in a new relationship.
1. Sharing too much too soon
There is the feeling of wanting to hit it off well when you meet someone new. You love the feeling of sharing and getting to know each other, which is a great phase in any new relationship, but sharing too much too soon could scare your new partner off.
When you are first getting to know each other, your date doesn’t have a lot of information about you, so what you do say stands out. That is, whatever you tell them is what they will remember.
It is advisable to save the revelations about your deepest, darkest secrets until your relationship is more established.
2. Living in the past
We all carry baggage from our pasts, that’s just a fact of life. However, letting your past baggage spill over into your new relationship is a mistake that can quickly damage it.
If you had a previous partner who cheated on you, ghosted you, or hurt you in some way, you might feel a bit scared that history is going to repeat itself. Projecting that onto your new date is a recipe for disaster. The weight of needing to prove themselves against your past will quickly push them away.
3. Ignoring major differences
When you are getting to know someone, it’s easy to overlook major differences in your values and worldview. After all, you’re not serious yet, so you don’t need to worry about what their career values are. You like them and you want it to work out, so, naturally, you try to focus on the good.
This is a great mistake because you won’t only need a shared sense of humour or a great spark in bed to sustain your relationship if it develops into something more serious. In your new relationship, be honest with yourself about your core values and what matters to you in life. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t share those core values, let them go gracefully.
4. Frequent social media posts
Social media is such a ubiquitous part of our lives these days that you can quickly fall into the trap of posting everything about your new relationship on social media. Too much social media posting can put a lot of pressure on a new relationship. If you’re constantly talking about your new date, tagging them in pics, liking everything they post, and asking for selfies, you could find the relationship coming to an early end.
It is better to keep your relationship off social media till it’s established. There’s nothing wrong with adding each other and commenting here and there, but keep it casual and don’t tag them or talk about them.
5. Being too available
When your relationship is new and things are going well, it is natural to want to spend plenty of time together. But being too available can make you look desperate, and your date will wonder if you’re really interested in them as a person, or just looking for a relationship.
Don’t suggest constant dates close together. Be casual about it. Suggest getting together the following week, or just ask them when they’d like to hang out again.